{"id":3889,"date":"2011-08-15T14:44:14","date_gmt":"2011-08-15T18:44:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yang-sheng.com\/?p=3889"},"modified":"2011-11-18T23:34:08","modified_gmt":"2011-11-19T04:34:08","slug":"choose-to-be-happy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yang-sheng.com\/?p=3889","title":{"rendered":"Featured Article"},"content":{"rendered":"

Choosing To Be Happy<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

Strategies for Happiness: 7 Steps to Becoming a Happier Person<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

By Tom Valeo (WebMD Feature)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Reviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MD<\/strong><\/p>\n

A popular greeting card attributes this quote to Henry David Thoreau: \u201cHappiness is like \"\"<\/a>a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n

With all due respect to the author of Walden, that just isn\u2019t so, according to a growing number of psychologists. You can choose to be happy, they say. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder. How? In part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of your mind.<\/p>\n

Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to a large degree, determined by your genes. Psychology professor David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, says that \u201ctrying to be happier is like trying to be taller.\u201d We each have a \u201chappiness set point,\u201d he argues, and move away from it only slightly.<\/p>\n

And yet, psychologists who study happiness — including Lykken — believe we can pursue happiness. We can do this by thwarting negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger. And we can foster positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially gratitude.<\/p>\n

Happiness Strategy # 1: Don’t Worry, Choose Happy<\/strong><\/p>\n

The first step, however, is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. In his book, The Conquest of Happiness, published in 1930, the philosopher Bertrand Russell had this to say: \u201cHappiness is not, except in very rare cases, something that drops into the mouth, like a ripe fruit. \u2026 Happiness must be, for most men and women, an achievement rather than a gift of the gods, and in this achievement, effort, both inward and outward, must play a great part.\u201d<\/p>\n

Today, psychologists who study happiness heartily agree. The intention to be happy is the first of The 9 Choices of Happy People listed by authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks in their book of the same name.<\/p>\n

\u201cIntention is the active desire and commitment to be happy,\u201d they write. \u201cIt\u2019s the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tom G. Stevens, PhD, titled his book with the bold assertion, You Can Choose to Be Happy. \u201cChoose to make happiness a top goal,\u201d Stevens tells WebMD. \u201cChoose to take advantage of opportunities to learn how to be happy. For example, reprogram your beliefs and values. Learn good self-management skills, good interpersonal skills, and good career-related skills. Choose to be in environments and around people that increase your probability of happiness. The persons who become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values.\u201d<\/p>\n

In short, we may be born with a happiness \u201cset point,\u201d as Lykken calls it, but we are not stuck there. Happiness also depends on how we manage our emotions and our relationships with others.<\/p>\n

Jon Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, teaches positive psychology. He actually assigns his students to make themselves happier during the semester.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey have to say exactly what technique they will use,\u201d says Haidt, a professor at the University of Virginia, in Charlottesville. \u201cThey may choose to be more forgiving or more grateful. They may learn to identify negative thoughts so they can challenge them. For example, when someone crosses you, in your mind you build a case against that person, but that\u2019s very damaging to relationships. So they may learn to shut up their inner lawyer and stop building these cases against people.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Once you\u2019ve decided to be happier, you can choose strategies for achieving happiness. Psychologists who study happiness tend to agree on ones like these.<\/p>\n

Happiness Strategy #2: Cultivate Gratitude<\/strong><\/p>\n

In his book, Authentic Happiness, University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman encourages readers to perform a daily \u201cgratitude exercise.\u201d It involves listing a few things that make them grateful. This shifts people away from bitterness and despair, he says, and promotes happiness.<\/p>\n

Happiness Strategy #3: Foster Forgiveness<\/strong><\/p>\n

Holding a grudge and nursing grievances can affect physical as well as mental health, according to a rapidly growing body of research. One way to curtail these kinds of feelings is to foster forgiveness. This reduces the power of bad events to create bitterness and resentment, say Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, happiness researchers who edited The Psychology of Happiness.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>In his book, Five Steps to Forgiveness, clinical psychologist Everett Worthington Jr. offers a 5-step process he calls REACH. First, recall the hurt. Then empathize and try to understand the act from the perpetrator\u2019s point of view. Be altruistic by recalling a time in your life when you were forgiven. Commit to putting your forgiveness into words. You can do this either in a letter to the person you\u2019re forgiving or in your journal. Finally, try to hold on to the forgiveness. Don\u2019t dwell on your anger, hurt, and desire for vengeance.<\/p>\n

The alternative to forgiveness is mulling over a transgression. This is a form of chronic stress, says Worthington.<\/p>\n

\u201cRumination is the mental health bad boy,\u201d Worthington tells WebMD. \u201cIt\u2019s associated with almost everything bad in the mental health field — obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety — probably hives, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Happiness Strategy #4: Counteract Negative Thoughts and Feelings<\/strong><\/p>\n

As Jon Haidt puts it, improve your mental hygiene. In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt compares the mind to a man riding an elephant. The elephant represents the powerful thoughts and feelings — mostly unconscious — that drive your behavior. The man, although much weaker, can exert control over the elephant, just as you can exert control over negative thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe key is a commitment to doing the things necessary to retrain the elephant,\u201d Haidt says. \u201cAnd the evidence suggests there\u2019s a lot you can do. It just takes work.\u201d<\/p>\n

For example, you can practice meditation, rhythmic breathing, yoga, or relaxation techniques to quell anxiety and promote serenity. You can learn to recognize and challenge thoughts you have about being inadequate and helpless.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you learn techniques for identifying negative thoughts, then it\u2019s easier to challenge them,\u201d Haidt said. \u201cSometimes just reading David Burns\u2019 book,<\/p>\n

Happiness Strategy #5: Remember, Money Can\u2019t Buy Happiness<\/strong><\/p>\n

Research shows that once income climbs above the poverty level, more money brings very little extra happiness. Yet, \u201cwe keep assuming that because things aren\u2019t bringing us happiness, they\u2019re the wrong things, rather than recognizing that the pursuit itself is futile,\u201d writes Daniel Gilbert in his book, Stumbling on Happiness. \u201cRegardless of what we achieve in the pursuit of stuff, it\u2019s never going to bring about an enduring state of happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n

Happiness Strategy #6: Foster Friendship<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are few better antidotes to unhappiness than close friendships with people who care about you, says David G. Myers, author of The Pursuit of Happiness. One Australian study found that people over 70 who had the strongest network of friends lived much longer.<\/p>\n

\u201cSadly, our increasingly individualistic society suffers from impoverished social connections, which some psychologists believe is a cause of today\u2019s epidemic levels of depression,\u201d Myers writes. \u201cThe social ties that bind also provide support in difficult times.\u201d<\/p>\n

Happiness Strategy #7: Engage in Meaningful Activities<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/strong>People are seldom happier, says psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, than when they\u2019re in the \u201cflow.\u201d This is a state in which your mind becomes thoroughly absorbed in a meaningful task that challenges your abilities. Yet, he has found that the most common leisure time activity — watching TV — produces some of the lowest levels of happiness.<\/p>\n

To get more out of life, we need to put more into it, says Csikszentmihalyi. \u201cActive leisure that helps a person grow does not come easily,\u201d he writes in Finding Flow. \u201cEach of the flow-producing activities requires an initial investment of attention before it begins to be enjoyable.\u201d<\/p>\n

So it turns out that happiness can be a matter of choice — not just luck. Some people are lucky enough to possess genes that foster happiness. However, certain thought patterns and interpersonal skills definitely help people become an \u201cepicure of experience,\u201d says David Lykken, whose name, in Norwegian, means \u201cthe happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.webmd.com\/balance\/guide\/choosing-to-be-happy<\/a><\/p>\n

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