[A Comedy Moment]
Sign on the door of a meditation center: Out of body. Back in twenty minutes.
An old man was enjoying his hundredth birthday party when a reporter approached him and asked, “Sir, what is the secret of your longevity?” The old man thought for a moment, then replied, “Well, young man, every evening at 7PM, I have a glass of red wine. They say it’s good for the heart, you know.” “That’s it?” asked the reporter. “That,” the old man said, “and cancelling my voyage on the Titanic.” source: Joke Buddha
————————————————————
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you !
……. What has English done to you?
————————
A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I’m constantly falling asleep. It’s just horrible!”
“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly.
A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It’s just wonderful!”
“It will pass,” the teacher replied matter-of-factly.
——————————-
Q: What do you call a one-legged Irish nun
who is learning tai chi?
A: Sister Eileen.
Q: Why can’t Buddhists vacuum their
meditation cushions?
A: Because they don’t have any attachments.
——————————-
Confucius say:
“man who run behind car get exhausted”…”man who run in front of car get tired”
——————————-
Q: What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist with a Druid mathematician?
A: Someone who worships the square roots of the tree that isn’t there.
Q: Why are there so few Buddhist
rhythm and blues bands?
A: Because Buddhists don’t have any soul.