Driving in India
A monk was driving in India when suddenly a dog crossed the road.
The car hit and killed the dog.
The monk looked around and seeing a temple, went to knock on the door.
A monk opened the door.
The first monk said, “I’m terribly sorry but my KARma ran over your DOGma.”
Q. “What is the name of the best Zen teacher?”
A. “M.T. Ness.”
Peace of Mind
The day after completing a 9 day Vipassana retreat, Dave turns up for work at the Zoo. Seeing how chilled out Dave is, the head keeper puts him in charge of the tortoise enclosure. Dave slowly walks over to the cages. At lunch time, the head keeper checks on Dave only to see the cage door is wide open and all the tortoises gone! He runs up to Dave and asks, “What happened with the tortoises?”
“Well”, said Dave very slowly, “I opened the tortoise cage door and it was, like, Whoosh!”