Your Chi Might One Day Be Bottled!

[A Comedy Moment 开心一刻 ]

Your Chi Might One Day Be Bottled!

(It’s Free!! FREE!)

By Huck Twin

The qi/chi I want to ‘move’ comes from heaven and earth. It loves to be home-based in my lower tan tien, but it takes lots of vacations to exotic places: reproduction center, perineum, and outside legs. Some of my qi/chi connects down into mother earth. As often as I want to think about it, I can tap it. qigong exercise

I am proud to boast that I have nine extra energy bodies. They are pals who ‘hang out’ with me and they ‘ground’ me like roots of a tree. My Mind-Eye-Heart Power is trained (by me!) to move its sparkling energy back up the inside legs, up my spine and via the inside arms to my outside arms via knuckles. Putting extra qi/chi there in martial arts applications, is empowered by Mother Earth. (Yours and mine!) After it goes over the back of my neck to the occipital, (while my chin is slightly tucked in,) it goes to the Crown of my head and visits the center of the brain where it meets my friendly pineal and pituitary glands.

Meanwhile, Father Heaven notices that the lights in my brain are now turned on, so his Royal Yang-ness acknowledges that I am in a fine communication with Mom Earth, her Royal Yin-ness. He lets it be known that he wants to visit her. (My tongue is up behind my teeth which helps him slide down via my throat, heart, solar plexus and by the time he is near the lower tan tien, he is roaring to hug, kiss, and generally make whoopee with Mom Earth.) I can handle the concept.Meditation and brain

All the qi/chi in the Universe is quite mature. It has been around for ages. Actually, the more that Earth and Heaven qi orbit together in me, the more qi I empower from the Universe. Here’s just an example of physical benefits. (I am ready for anything, be it martial applications or any healing.)

  1. My tendons are empowered.
  2. I carry out more efficient mental tasks,or
  3. A good night’s sleep are honed by the ever growing benevolence of merely moving my mind into my own energy orbit.

All doubters listen; I will be bottling my bliss elixir for any entrepreneur looking to tap into the source… and even franchise… You better hurry! Coca-Cola and Pepsi are battling to buy me out. I don’t want to do that. The offer is free to all takers who want to be powered by their own brand of chi.


(This light commentary on chi was re-edited since published on an internet discussion group. I like to think that the voice in this essay, comes from a ‘spirited’ teenage boy named Huckelberry Twin (who’s made of Yang and Yin. He is an alter ego of Raven Cohan who is writing a book in which Huck’s essay will be included.)

Love and Blessings in Tao, submitted by Raven Cohen

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