Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?”
The other replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”
“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”
“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”
“Meditating? What’s that?”
“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!”
Q: What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with?
A: He enters Nerdvana.
Q: What do Yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common?
A: They both take you to the core.
The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.
Meditation student: If I’m open minded, won’t my brains fall out?
Teacher: No, just keep your mouth shut at the same time.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah’s Witness and a Zen Buddhist?
A person who knocks on your door for absolutely no reason at all.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work?
He wanted to transcend dental medication!
No matter where you go, there you are.
So many ideas so little time.
Slow down, pay attention, question everything, start now
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?
Only those who know when enough is enough, know when they have enough.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Can we ever truly know when our philosophy assignment is due?
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
Snowmen fall from heaven unassembled.
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.
Things are not as they seem, nor are they otherwise.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I’m an agnostic dyslexic insomniac that lies awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.
If there were no hypothetical questions what would this say?
If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.