A Comedy Moment

Daoist Jokes
by Alan Sondheim

What did one Daoist say to the other? Nothing

Why don’t Immortals tell riddles? They don’t know the answers. What did the Immortal tell the mendicant? Nothing

How many Daoists does it take to change a lightbulb? None (i.e. Nothing)

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dao. Dao who? Dao art Nothing

What did the priest say to the Immortal? No Way! What did the Immortal reply? Nothing

Two Daoists went into a bar with a rabbi and a priest. The rabbi said to the priest, When we go to Heaven, we’re allowed to leave. The priest said to the rabbi, when we go to Hell, we’re stuck there. The Daoists said nothing, we’re not going anywhere

What happens when you get two Daoists together? Nothing

Daoist riddle: What happens when you cross a duck and a mouse? Nothing

Two Daoists were talking. One asked, When is an obstruction not an obstruction? The other said, When the Dao gets in the Way (i.e. Nothing)

What’s black and white and red (read) all over? The Daodejing (i.e. Nothing)

What weighs nothing and a thousand pounds? Two five-hundred pound Daoists (i.e. Nothing)

Two Immortals are in the bathtub. One says to the other, Please pass the soap. The other Immortal replies, No soap, radio.

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